Three Worlds in a Day

Wednesday 18 July

From the rocking club we said our goodbyes, went to the hotel, packed and showered then took off for the airport at the break of dawn. Wow. The 6.30am flight was smooth and we passed out before the plane even took off, stealing a couple of hours sleep on the way to Beijing. Thinking what would be the best way to spend our few hours in the motherland, we decided to head straight for our courtyard house and chilled there in the lounge - cosy, welcoming and relaxed. Xiao Ling met us and the three of us had one final meal of dumplings and green tea, in between snoozing. Leaving the place for good this time, we said our farewells to the lovely staff and I realised how warm-hearted Beijingers can be. Lin Yi Lian's song on the car stereo couldn't have been timed better and we headed off across the afternoon heat and traffic singing along with the cheesy Mandarin ballad :) The flight home was delayed, as the Beijing airport is packed to the gunnels, so again we passed out before taking off, slept most of the way home and returned safely into my baby's arms. Mission accomplished.

Teretj to UB

Tuesday 17 July

Took it easy in the morning, headed to the brewery, then joined Lester for lunch at the Oasis - a backpacker type place run by an Austrian couple. Headed downtown and did some work with Mogan at the pub, which was now able to sell Tiger after a directive came late the previous night. Sat outside and observed the well-heeled population of UB walk past in the sun. Mogan noted that the Mongolians were the Aryans of Asia (tall, strong, smart and good-looking) and he wasn't wrong.

Headed back east and in the late afternoon drove about 40 minutes out of town to a preserved area called Teretj - miles and miles of beautful nothingness in all directions. Had a beer and took a walk up the hill in the twilight, the immensity and peacefulness of the place kind of went right through your bones, like the cold in the winter must do as well. Feasted on Mongolian dumplings for dinner before heading back tot he brewery, playing a little horse-head violin, then into town to meet Odgerel for a market visit. Though initially reluctant, Mogan and I knew that with a 4.30am pickup scheduled from the hotel to the airport, there was really only ever going to be one way to approach this evening.

Headed first to the New World, the top Tiger outlet by volume and the draft beer tasted delicious! Walked through a couple of neighbouring outlets and was delighted to see Tiger doing really well. Wanted to check out some low-end local places but they had shut (official closing time of midnight) so we proceeded to Metropolis, one of the hottest places at the moment. With an interior modelled a bit on Bed Supperclub, the place was a high-end nightclub drawing the premium local crowd (and us). Odgerel and Odno were apalled that we hadn't tried Mongolian vodka yet, so we proceeded to drink it the way they do, over ice and down the hatch! Though the DJ wasn't mixing to speak of, the crowd were into it, absolutely beautiful, and Mogan and I lit the place up with our Tiger shirts and dancing shoes!

Ulaanbaatar

Monday 16 July

Our wake-up call never happened so we got ready in a rush and drove out to the brand new MCS Tiger Brewery on the eastern outskirts of town. Mongolia has only 2 million people and half of them live in UB - it seems a good proportion of these were scattered in 'gers' (the movable circular tents) in the city and the nothern hills. Lester welcomed us and took the time to show us around even though he was in the middle of a crisis - having launched the brewery with great success less than a month ago, a few officials decided they wanted a piece of the action and revoked our brewing license until the right palms were greased.

Drove downtown and walked around the heart of the city - big, bright, busy, the citizens were modern and liberal, though the traffic was very wild west. Had lunch with Mogan, Lester and Bat (the world-class chemist turned commercial director) and hung out while they met the MCS chairman to try and pull some strings. Back to the brewery we met the marketing team, found out more about their activities and presented Tiger Translate. At the end of the working day we made our way to the Tiger tavern and imbibed some of the tastiest Tiger beer I've ever had (sugar, no maize) with Bat, the technical director and Gus from PNG. One pint turned into 6 and we got into detailed conversation about the stabilising of beer to withstand the extreme temperatures in Mongolia, distribution over winter, the current licensing issues, and eventually the ancient history of Mongolia! Bat was a fountain of knowledge and proved to be one of the smartest guys I've met in a long time.

With a late sunset around 9-10pm, the night was already on when we rolled into town and headed first to Marco Polo. There we were entertained by various dancing troupes, the highlight of which was about 8 girls, each 6 feet tall, dressed in eastern bloc military uniforms (though I'm not sure the skirts were quite that short during the Cold War) and doing a routine while a crackly record played Soviet marching tunes. Awesome.

Made a quick stop at Crazy Banana and had a Heineken, but not much was happening so Bat took us to Face - a great club where we drank more beer (surprise!) and shook it on the dance floor - the entire place was heaving on a Monday night! Enjoyed a feast of Korean food for supper and made it back to bed safely, secure in the knowledge that if anyone was to show you a good time in UB, Bat was the man.

Wo Ai Beijing

Sunday 15 July

Getting another decent few hours of sleep I woke up and slowly packed my gear - getting ready to leave the gorgeous courtyard house was not easy. Jumped in a cab with Mogan and made our way south, past Qianmen, to an old beat hutong area housing a 100% bona fide Beijing duck place called Li Qun. Dashing through the warm rain as our cab dropped us off and meeting up with Xiao Ling, we ran into the welcoming, cosy place with a log fire roaring.

Perused the menu, thought carefully, then proceeded to order 2 ducks and 2 plates of veges. This was accompanied by a few quarts of Tsingtao, and finally Mogan and I felt fully relaxed, with nowhere to go other than right here, in the duck heaven of Beijing. Orgasmic duck, we ate and ate until we could eat no more, then kept going. After lunch the sun came out and we wandered around the area - these hutongs won't be here much longer and given their run-down conditions (compared to the ones north of Chang An Jie) you could almost see why. Saw some killer veges for sale on the street then jumped in a cab and took the ring road up to Dali Restuarant in Gulou. A nice area with a good summer vibe, the restaurant was showcasing our artwork and beer, and felt almost like a country cafe in the far north of NZ. Headed back to the hotel to put some finishing touches to the PR and packing, said goodbye to Tanya, and made our way out to the airport.

If coming into Beijing airport is a breeze, getting out is a drama and a half. Luckily we were very relaxed and psyched for our upcoming mission - Mogan going through security and having to make his tellytubby and donkey dance on the X-ray machine was the most fun I've ever had clearing customs! Had a light dinner and a beer in the airport while waiting for our flight, then boarded a Mongolian Airlines flight to Ulaanbaatar! A smooth two hour flight got us there and by 11pm we were landing in this dark, low-rise city nestled in a river valley, further north than I've ever been.

Initial impressions were of a rough and ready country where the people on the plane looked rugged and leathery, the baggage carousel was chaotic and violent, and the road into town was cracked and bumpy. Driving to our hotel I looked out the window to get an idea of the place and it didn't look like stepping outside at 1am on Sunday night would be the best idea, so we didn't. Checked into our brand spanking new rooms (mine smelt of noxious paint), left the windows open to get a cool breeze and heard the dogs barking, then headed to the hotel bar for a nightcap of a Golden Gobi lager - yum! Going to bed I heard yelling in the streets and succumbed to a decent sleep gratefully.

Tiger Translate Beijing

Saturday 14 July

God punished me for going to bed early - I woke up feeling utterly exhausted and couldn't shake the feeling all day. Checked out the venue before meeting Moira for a long lunch in the arts district - fuelled on salad, Chilean sauvignon blanc and fusion dumplings (??) I psyched myself into action. Got into press conference mode and worked with the GM of China to pull off some pretty solid interviews with the Chinese media.

One thing led to the other and before you knew it the event was in full swing - art, music, betties, all on. Xiao Ling and Moira came and I showed them around, crazily enough I bumped into Sherry (Thorston's friend) and Warren (Hua Xin) who were in attendance and loving it! Though the man tried to bring me down I took charge of my mind and got into the music, the cool folks and the primo Beijing vibe - 'Groove is in the Heart' was the last track of the night and we milked it :)

After the show we took a minibus back to the hutong and chilled in the courtyard with Tiger, tea and whiskey. Listened to Ben Frost's band, Danger of Death, on myspace and got entranced by the internet with its tales of Moby Dick, Captain Ahab and more! Realising that I had grown a tolerance to all external substances I relaxed in my stubbies and wife beater as the crowd around us thinned out.

As dawn broke and only a few men were left standing, we headed up to the roof and Bennett did a fantastic shaolin lip sync move, though claiming to be a lover not a fighter. Put on some slippers and shuffled down the street to a morning dumpling feast with Mogan, Burgerman and Bennett. Our two guests could only handle so much and left, so Mogan and I continued on our merry little path of self-destruction by dumpling. At 7am we slept, replete once again.

Of course they're real!

Friday 13 July

Woke up fully clothed and headed to Lido Hotel for a simple lunch with Xiao Ling. Got some info on the 2008 Olympics tickets and hapened upon some great blue and yellow faux-snakeskin sneakers! Bought them for RMB150 to find out they are also limited edition UNKLE kicks - nice :)

Met Mogan and Benedictus at a cafe in the arts district for a Qingdao then headed over to Song Yang's studio where all the artists were hard at work creating some fantastic pieces. Helped interview a 60 year-old cougar in Mandarin, found out he worked for the Chengde Railroad Company issuing tools, and was enjoying watch Li Qiu Qiu bomb "bie fei hua"! Had a warm beer in the afternoon sun then headed back to change up for dinner.

Met the China team at Lapopo for dinner, sat next to Edmond and enjoyed some fantastic Sichuan food over the big round table mafioso vibe. After dinner they exploded into the market visit (leaving me behind!) and I caught up with them at Eudora Station, then walked the entire stretch up, across and down Sanlitun, in and out of Vic's and Mix without stop! At Houhai we sat down beside the lotus flowers and stopped to actually enjoy a few Tiger Crystals and get some insights into the market.

Proceeded on past Houhai Tian Tang and the chunky electro beats had real Beijingers dancing- I wanted to stay! As we said goodbye to the bosses, Vincent appeared out of nowhere like Batman all geared up to party - I reluctantly stuck with plan A, returned back to the hutong around midnight, had a few quiets in the courtyard and got to sleep around 3am.

I'm Sorry did you say 24 Jam?

Thursday 12 July

Slept from 7 till 11, got up and worked in the lounge area for several hours with Tanya and Mogan. Got the stuff that needed to be done, done. Took off to Jingshan Gongyuan and it was as primo, transcendent and quiet as ever. Boom. Gathered the crew in the courtyard and proceeded to dinner, a chaotic Beijing duck affair where the only duck I ate was the skin entree - helping the chinese and laowai artists communicate was my priority. The beer was cloudy but no-one was paying too much attention. "China thrives on chaos" as Sayson said, and with so many hangers-on, interference and craziness, one could only hope for the best. Dinner went as well as it possibly could and we rolled on to a nice bar at Qianhai, ordered cases of Tiger Crystal and got into the brains of Ben Frost, Li Qiu Qiu and the Berlin editor. Fantastic.

Luke Bennett made the call and we emptied a bottle of vodka for, well, goodness, before making it home safely (not without Mogan purchaing a tellytubby and a donkey, go figure). Back in the courtyard we jammed a while with the Germans and then got down to the rind with Mogan and Benedictus. Wow. Had an early morning gongfu session on the roof (Mogan - please insert video here) then proceeded to a full-on dumpling and beer mission for breakfast. Went to/on bed fully clothed and with shoes on. Yay for Beijing!

Beijing Bicycle

Wednesday 11 July

Woke to a healthy breakfast, took a short walk in the neighbourhood to get my bearings, then proceeded to 798 Space to run through the event details and venue. Nice area! Dealing with the local agency was very hard work, but Mogan kept it together really well and by the end of the day we were confident it's going to rock. Grabbed a quick Heineken as a reward then met up with Xiao Ling for a quality vegetarian dinner - Buddhist vibe throughout and classic dish names like "Ai ni mei shangliang". Walked down the street to Sanlitun and had a Tiger on the main strip, later joined by Sayson, returned to the hotel for a shower and a scotch, then connected with Mogan for jam time.

Made it back to Gongti Beilu and met up with the artists at a Filipino rock bar for more Tiger crystal, then rolled down the street to Mix - a big club opposite Vics at the Workers' Stadium - ate the 30 yuan cover charge for seven people and proceeded into an electric atmosphere with none other than Slim Shady. A great vibe with lots of jostling and dancing, a local guy tried to rark me up by blocking my way twice and asking if I had a problem! I smiled and said no, and he melted away allowing me to proceed to the dance floor. Some gregarious Americans had an oversize bottle of Chivas and a case of coke, a Russian working girl shook her bon bon, Luke Bennett from Berlin let go on the dance floor, and I just observed quietly, drinking it all in.

Ben Frost wanted to hit the hay so we took the cue and made it back to the hotel in one piece, but I was far from over. Luke Benedictus (an editor from Oz) and I hopped on some classic Beijing bicycles, with Mogan riding pillion behind me and Sayson behind Luke. Whiskey and water in the backpack and we were off (after a couple of false starts by Luke, "It's just like riding a bike...", crash!) Tiananmen square was our destination, and by hook or by crook we made it, though not without me noting that Beijing is a lot bigger in reality than it is on the maps. With a deep thigh burn we pushed on south, onto Chang An Jie, and eventually to the Gate of Heavenly Peace. Unfortunately the quiet whisky session we had hoped for was foiled by garrisons of guards and policemen, and droves of Chinese lining up to watch the dawn flag-raising ceremony! Not about to let the PLA spoil our fun, we mixed some whiskey and water and stood about in a haphazard manner right in front of Chairman Mao before we were asked to move along. With the sky threatening to lighten and the crowds building, we escaped the underwhelming prospect of the flag-raising, dropped off our passengers, and returned home as dawn broke.

Mogan, the committed jammer, waited for me in the courtyard and we had a quiet Tsingtao as we waited for the xiaochi places to open. At 5am we set off and wandered through the ancient alleyways as they came to life; an older guy exercising in stretch pants, aunty in her pyjamas, uncle puffing his first cigarette of the day. Mogan busted out his brand new SLR and the inhabitants shook their heads as we photographed their rubbish :) At the intersection with Chao Nei Nan Xiao Jie we executed xiao long bao (with a thicker, northern type of skin), a form of you tiao and eggs. Paid (9 yuan!) and proceeded straight to another xiao chi dian where super-friendly aunty fed us another two plates of dumplings. Replete, spent, bulbous, we slept at 7am in peace. Thank you Beijing.

A Sort of Homecoming

Tuesday 10 July

Beijing here we come! Took a 5pm flight north with Mogan and laughed up a storm with a back-to-back Will Ferrell session over beers. Arrived in Beijing and flew through the airport, into town on the smooth and clear roads, into Yan Yue Hutong just north of Chang An Jie. Checked into a gorgeous siheyuan called Hotel Cote Cour SL - a luxurious boutique hotel right in the heart of old Beijng.

Took a moment to catch our breath in the cool evening air of the courtyard, then jumped in a cab and made our way to Qianhai. My Chinese still works, yay! There we met up with Sayson and walked along the strip on the lake's edge, found ourselves a Tiger outlet and enjoyed my first Tiger Crystal - smooth and tasty, yum. Kept it low-key and made it to bed around 3.30.

Return to civilization

After a day of doing absolutely nothing, we took a choppy ride on a small fishing boat back to Senggigi and finished up where we started, with bruschetta and pasta at Cafe Alberto. A civilised flight took us home on Saturday and we live to tell another tale.

Tropical Islanding

Struggling to get up after only 12 hours sleep, we had a late breakfast and some snorkelling action in the gorgeous sun. After kicking back in the midday heat, we took a walk down the shady path to Bob the Frenchman's jungle place for a 7-up and had lunch at a Sasak place by the beach - nice buzz. Continued walking north as the sun continued its path across the clear blue sky, snorkel action not happening but good swims nonetheless. Made it to Good Heart Cafe for a magenta and lilac sunset, red snapper and beers, a cedomo ride home and (surprise!) another early night.

E-Z Ryder

Tuesday 5 June

Hit the road at 10am and cruised down the cool north side of the mountain on a motor scooter with Jamie riding pillion and a couple of guys leading the way. Took an hour to reach the sea after lots of braking and down-shifting, then flat all the way to Bangsal. Some low-level dodgy guys bothered us while we ate lunch, waiting for the 2pm ferry to Gili Meno, which we shared with some lumber, instant noodles and fresh veges, yum! The so-called honeymoon island didn't disappoint and we had our pick of places once again, ending up with a comfy air-con bungalow called Kontiki, on the south-east of the island with a great beach and nice vibe. Snapper and curry filled us up while the local brother sorted us out.

Like Heaven for the first week...

Took it easy, as if there was any other choice, reading and taking in the view of the volcanic cone outside our door. Walked through the village to an array of kids, empty buidlings, wildflowers, kites, bamboo and dirt roads. In the shadow of the mountain we felt the traditional way of life there - friendly and unspoilt still. In the evening we walked back across the peaceful foothills and along the parched riverbed, through a secret garden and watched as the sun set in the near distance...

That road is gonna be a problem

Healthy start to the day before riding a motorbike up the road to a national park with a nice walk to a hair-growth enhancing waterfall. Still can't grow a full beard. Rode back for lunch then took a van ride through a bumpy, steep and apparently impossible road right through the centre of the island, lush and green. Made it to Sembalun Lawang where we checked into a cosy guest house and breathed in the peace. Pottered up the road before sunset and found the landscape transforming from sweaty south east asian jungle into rugged, volcanic, NZ vegetation. Found a gorgeous dry riverbed and sat in silence, feeling the low places like the Tao. Back after sunset for some tea, dinner and bed.

Tetebatu

2 June 2007

Took a drive to the village of Tetebatu and checked into the Green Orry, which somehow reminded me of a resort for North Korean officials. After a cleansing ale and some gado gado for lunch, we took a guided walk through beautiful rice padi fields on the southern slopes of Gunung Rinjani. Never walked on this type of terrain before, extra beautiful and required extra care.

Seng-giggidy-giggidy-gyeah!

Lombok, 31 May 2007

Celebrating Vesak Day with a delayed afternoon flight out of Singapore, Jamie and I kicked off honeymoon #4 by going back to where it all began (sort of); Hotel Dharmarie on Senggigi, this time upping the ante with a beautiful candlelit dinner at Cafe Alberto. Spent the next day chilling in the garden, spot of yoga, fish and beer for lunch by the beach, then a quality swim. Got into some Absolut Pears at sunset and had Thai dinner before bumping into Nandi, the botak dude from two years ago! His invitation to hang out on the beach with a fire, beers, guitar and tea was too good to resist, so we didn't.