Tiger Translate Saigon

Sunday 20 January

After a solid sleep and a hearty breakfast I hit the streets - almost got run over by a speeding motorbike which was a little scary and put me on full guard after that. Wandered through the central market (reminded me of Neil Young, Piece Of Crap) and then down to the Saigon River. The swift brown current carried boatfuls of Vietnamese tourists and as I watched one pull up I wasn't sure who was gawking at who. A couple of kids were swimming at the river's edge with bits of polystyrene - their complete disregard for the skanky water was pretty rock n roll.

Walked up Nguyen Hue, one of the biggest streets here, and met Nam at the central cafe over a beer and some vegetable curry. Saw Maria Sharapova win a few points on ESPN - what a machine! Around 3.30 I headed back to the hotel, picked up my new jeans after one round of tweaking, showered and headed out to the venue. The buzz was amazing! Teenage kids were going crazy, the scalpers were selling tickets for VND 20,000 and the team was a little nervous but excited.

I hung out in the trade tent for a while, checked out the activities there (highlights included a digital rock game, an army of PGs and a full-scale spit roast!) and met Jin from STB who's now based here looking after Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. Larry Lee gave a great speech and I had some interesting chats with the booking agent and tour manager, whose last job was for the White Stripes - apparently one of their stipualtions was that all crew wore full black suits, red ties and fedoras the entire time!

Around 7pm I went into the stadium and parked myself front and centre to soak up the crowd's vibe - ended up staying there from start to finish! The generally well-behaved crowd lapped up Unlimited, whose lead singer easily had the best hair of the entire campaign. Ngu Cung had a more sophisticated sound but MCR blew them all away once their sound kicked in - the stage presence of Gerard Way was pretty hot, a little Robert Smith and a little Jack White.

Mama was my favourite song among the crowd pleasers, the drama on stage was good and the security did their best to keep the cameras down, though the battle for intellectual property here is a losing one. The show ended around 10.30 and after congratulating the team I headed for supper with Nam and the HBL guys, together with Lan from Holy Red Cross - some quality roadside beers along with a steamboat of never-ending veges and beef. Finished up around 1.30, got back to the hotel still buzzing, and wrapped up in preparation for the sweet journey home.

Rock on, comrades

Saturday 19 January

Got up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, had a hearty breakfast and attended the press conference where My Chemical Romance, the biggest rock band ever to play in Vietnam, alongside Unlimited and Ngu Cung, the best young local bands, did a great job for the local media.

Took my new pair of Levi's to the tailor to get taken up then cruised the streets of central Saigon for a couple of hours on foot. Discovered a nice gelato place next to a roundabout, very piazza-like (what's a piazza?) and tucked into some great beef stew and french bread with a freshly brewed Heineken - yum.

Strolled back and cooled off in the pool for a bit before showering and heading to the venue - amazingly, the band weren't into the humvee limo we had secured for them, so I jumped at the chance and rode there in style, blown away by the juxtaposition when looking through the one-way windows at the dusty streets crowded with motorbikes outside.

The band had an autograph session for 500 screaming fans (mostly teenagers and the odd uncle) which made for a few laughs, followed by sound check as the sun went down. Danh and Vo took me out for dinner around 7pm and we had a good feast at Ly Ly (a mainstream beer garden) - pork, liver, noodles, quail eggs and these crazy whole fish whose bodies were totally filled with eggs!

Hit Seventeen Saloon for some draught beer after that, right downtown, then a bit further out for a couple of pint bottles at what they called a mainstream discotheque, something like the bars on Neil Rd but thankfully less aggressive. Again, most places close at midnight so I caught a cab home (much smoother at that time of night) and rested up for the main event!

Uncle Ho is Dead

Friday 18 January

After a fantastically chill week with Jamie, I surfaced bright and early to hop on a plane to Saigon - read the paper next to a takeaway store owner who'd been living in Perth for almost twenty years - and was there in under two hours. Got picked up in style, whisked to the office for a spot of labour, then headed to the Military Stadium, the venue of this weekend's melarkey.

Was introduced to My Chemical Romance and helped the Tiger team meet with their management in the comfort of an aircon room in the stadium, after wandering the grounds and getting the feeling of Tampines FC on yabba. Got a lift via the office to my hotel and was delighted to check into the executive floor where free wireless, salmon, asparagus and Heineken was awaitin'.

After two weeks of prep I was really up for a large one (even with the prospect of a press conference the next morning - hey, i'm not gonna be in front of the cameras!) - however the team was exhausted so we just had a simple dinner (cheese strips and salad for entree followed by a bowl of fish steamboat between five of us), showed face at the opening of D&D Club (nothing but Martell and a few models), then headed home to rest. Sometimes, sensibility is the best option.

Tiger Translate Hanoi

Sunday 6 January

Met Nam at 9.30am and had a traditional breakfast of Pho Bo (beef noodle soup) which was delicious - little did I know that was the last semi-normal thing I would eat today...

Went back to the venue again before spending some time sightseeing - we skirted around Uncle Ho's mausoleum but no matter which angle we tried to approach it from, a security guard would appear and wave us off! Checked out Van Mieu, the Temple of Literature, where Confucian scholars received their official education since 1070 - old school tablets with ancient Chinese inscriptions on the backs of stone tortoises.

After midday we drove across the river to a snake ghetto, and pulled up to a specialty restaurant where we were all in for a treat. The ground floor had all sorts of live and pickled animals - the freakiest being an armadillo-like creature with its bloodshot eyes rolled back in a disgusting death pose. Live snakes slithered and my stomach churned with the thought of what was to come...

Our meal began with a guy killing the snake in front of us, squeezing the blood from its throat into a container, and squishing out the innards which I take it weren't that tasty. A few minutes later we were each presented with two shot glasses - one blood red and one transparent yellow. It took me several minutes to build up the courage to down the blood, but I did in the end, surprised to find out it was mixed with some sort of liquor, which took the lead in terms of taste. The yellow stuff turned out to be bile, but again I managed to keep my breakfast down, and from here on in I was able to relax a little.

A selection of about ten dishes followed, each made from snake meat in a different way - my favourites were the crushed bones on a hard tortilla-type thing and grilled spine meat. The food was accompanied by snake wine and intensely flavoured raw vegetable leaves - all in all it was a full spectrum flavour assault and probably the most memorable, if least comfortable, meal I've ever had.

In the afternoon I got some well-needed down-time back at the hotel before bouncing off again to the party - tickets were being touted on the street at the entrance and the buzz was palpable. Proceeded in and talked with Andrew, the man behind it all, gave an interview with Hanoi TV and shook hands with one of the biggest rockers in the capital. As the crowd built up and the security steeled themsleves, we cracked our first Tiger of the day and it went down a treat.

Soon after, the perimeter was breached but the kids weren't worried about the guards laying into them with batons, just crazed for the metal that was about to be laid down. As I sat down in the VIP area with Vietnamese rock gods on my left and government officials on my right, I couldn't help but be thankful for the ice cold beer that was handed to me as the crowd in front turned into a thronging mass of fist-pumping rockers.

The show that ensued was flawlessly produced, massive in scale and extremely loud. Long hair, Gibson flying Vs and vocals deep from the throat dominated, and all I could do was smile, enjoy and sip quietly. Partied up front with some young kids, to the side with the sales team, and up back with Nam. After all was said and done the show was a phenomenal success, and I joined the organising team afterwards for steamboat, where I laid into the pig brains and doufu. Good night!

Agent Orange

Saturday 5 January 2008

2008 kicked off with a bang after a very mellow New Year's Eve with Jamie, Kevin and Ngala in KL (camping, watching movies, playing guitars and board games and drinking beer) - the final of Tiger Translate Vietnam took place in Hanoi, featuring 6 heavy metal bands from around the country battling to play support for My Chemical Romance in Saigon later this month.

I flew in on Saturday morning and spent the afternoon wandering around Thu Le Lake, taking in the dusty streets buzzing with motorbikes and the crowded sidewalks filled with people drinking tea. Realising I hadn't packed anything warm, I bought a simple jumper for 60,000 dong (about 4 or 5 bucks) and a yummy baozi-like thing to fill my belly. Stopped for a Bia Ha Noi at a cute little cafe (such tiny chairs!) and then wandered back a different way, past a roller skating rink where the kids were literally falling over themselves having fun, and through a maze-like residential area back to the hotel.

I freshened up before meeting Nam, the Brand Manager for Tiger at HBL, who picked me up and took me to the outdoor venue to check out the setup. A massive, crazy stage design was the highlight, and listening to the bands rehearse I knew my ears were in for a full-on assault! From there, Hau from VBL joined us and we went for a lovely buffet dinner at the Lotus Restaurant - fresh food and Tiger beer all round in a classy joint.

Hop joined us after dinner and we started off at Seventeen Saloon, a hopping bar where the barmaids drank behind the bar and shook their cowgirl booty to the live rock band. Relax Bar just down the street reminded me of an unpretentious spot on the Lower East Side, with its dim lighting, relaxed vibe and understated cool - here one of the barmaids was sporting fishnet stockings which I thought was a nice touch! Our last stop was a tall and narrow bar, built like a wooden shophouse, with plenty of Tiger bottles floating around and a crowd including younger Western kids. Not generally a late night town, we called it a day after that and I crashed around 1am.